A come back, of sorts….
Dear Blog,
I apologize. I have been neglecting you. And oh, I have been neglecting me, too. I have been caught up in snow storms, drifts of stress and icy sheets of depression. Winter, with its cold, heavy blankets of precipitation and miserable urgings to hibernate had held me captive. This season became desolate and solemn.
I have been whole heartedly lost , good blog. And I am in desperate need of finding myself again. Ive been weighed down by an ever growing tower that is teetering on the edge of crumbling down around me. I have the weight of many on my shoulders as of late, and I’m left clawing at the edges of a hole that seems to grow deeper each day.
I fell off, for a while this time. I was stuck in a dark place, where I felt that there was no way to get back to the lighter side of things.
But, theres those glints of illumination. Those moments of excitement and present-ness that give me a sense of urgency to move forward. Feeling stagnant may be the hardest part of this whole snag in the plan for me. I must keep moving for the sake of feeling productive and alive. For the last couple months, I have felt like anything but myself. With a season change on its way, I’m banking on a change of heart, too.
Theres a certain smell that spring surrounds us with. And when change is brewing, this feeling is conjured up inside of us. One that’s so subtle we can hardly put our finger on what it even is. For this reason, I am thankful to live where dramatic weather variations occur every few months.
Slowly, I have worked hard to find myself again. This type of metamorphosis occurs every year for me. This year, the darkness held on a little longer, and it dug in just a bit deeper. It took longer for me to break through the cocoon in order to spread my wings.
I am making this happy ending up as I go. I am none of the things that I thought I wanted to be when I was growing up. Not yet, at least. But I certainly am well on my way. Its been a maze of possibilities. I need to face my insecurities, push my limits and really focus in on what I love in order to find a way to do it everyday.
In the mean time, I have to live in the moment and soak up the warmer days that tease us north easterners with spring and summer days to come.
We’ve spent time at the park…. A bit chilly and muddy…but a WHOLE lotta fun!
And made our way to hike at a beautiful local state park…
Photo Of The Day:
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” ~Oscar Wilde
To being true to who you are… taking the time to make plans with yourself.
