The weight has been lifted
Maybe its because everyone is noticing… Maybe its because its actually true… but more likely than anything else – Maybe its because I am noticing the change in myself that makes me so ready to move on to new beginnings in every aspect of my life.
We moved. It went exactly as expected: I stressed, Tommy remained collected as ever, Meika and Early knew we were up to something (what that was they were unsure of. Early proved his uncertainty in us by remaining fixated on the back window of the truck, looking ever so nauseous, which is rare for him), and ultimately it was done and over with with some sweat, tears and a few too many drinks shared.
Fast forward two weeks to now. I feel mostly settled in, but even so I feel inspired to settle in for real this time. I want to create, produce, bake, build, and design everything that I can get my capable hands on; art, objects, conversations – oh and food – for my own house. For our home. I yearn for a few more days of lazying outside in the sun, relaxing, and a fair amount more evenings dedicated to engaging in exciting late night conversations where the only neighbors we could be interrupted by are lighting bugs and cicadas. That is what my idea of summers end should be.
And now, I find that I am really looking forward to fall and all of the glorious possibilities that it holds. Transitioning into the cooler season will be yet another change that I am actively making. One that I am making without fear, or a need to hold on to the past. I feel that this summer, intense with sweltering heat waves and dramatic battles internally and externally, was one of constant turmoil. Even while on a trip to the shore (note: it IS the shore when it’s NJ, right??), I wasn’t relaxed or “vacationing”. Everything was a blur of rushed interactions with friends and family, and wayy too damn much driving.
But, now the hottest months are coming to a close and for once instead of wishing I could start over and rewind to May…Id rather enjoy whats left of August (hopefully a trip to the shore, a long overdue camping trip and the purchase of a fire pit to complete my BBQ/entertaining repertoire) and float easily into fall. Pumpkin patches, orchards, Halloween, the colors changing on not only the leaves but throughout every aspect of nature down to the sun rises and sets. Yes, and our anniversary. Something tells me that we get to enjoy it this year….
The weight has been lifted. I have always known that stress has physical symptoms that can manifest into any number of diseases or illnesses. But, I can physically feel myself standing taller, and thinking more clearly. Summer, I guess you proved me wrong and you have been very good to me. But fall, I’m coming for you with a smile ear to ear.
